"Once upon a time yoyos were simple. They we're round, like a wheel, and did simple tricks. The most popular was walk the dog. Like a dog, these yoyos came back when you tugge on them.
Modern yoyos are a different animal. Made of machined aluminum, they have wings and are more like birds that fly than dogs on the ground.
As a result, we no longer walk the dog, instead we walk the parrot! "
(Insert arm or finger grind here)